washed clean

Since I didn't edit my first blog too well, the www knows that i have been sick. It feels a bit like i have publisized the fact that i have been blighted with leprosy. I have felt like Miriam, Moses and Aaron's sister. She was a privilidged prophetess who led the women in song and dance across the dry ground of the Red Sea. (Exodus 15) But, Miriam also allowed her heart and mouth to murmur against God's appointed leader, Moses. (Numbers 12) Because she came against God's authority, when she herself was a woman of influence, the LORD came against her- publically. Ouch! Moses pleaded to God for mercy. God forgave- as is His nature- but the entire camp of people knew of her transgression. This has always caused me to wonder how she held her head after those seven days in exile. Did she keep her eyes cast down, afraid to meet the accusatory stare of those she had led in worship? Did she have a veil that she continually wore in public? Maybe Miriam never went out again, but that's pretty hard when your camp is moving from place to place for forty years. She must have stepped forward in open vulnerability and allowed the grace of God to be her sheild. In a very wonderful way, i am much like Miriam. I wouldn't go so far as to say that i'm a prophetess, but the Lord has honored me in a place of influence of prayer and worship. Many Sundays, the opportunity is given to stand on the mountain (stage)and encourage my camp to "Sing to the LORD, for He is highly exalted."(Ex 15:21) Unfortunately, i have also allowed my heart to do some murmuring lately. OUTLOUD My heart hasn't been jealous, but i have come against God's authority and like the Israelite's, I have complained about bitter water and lack of food. It's easy to pick up a virus. Life is life. There's bitter water to drink. Sometimes the food is less than palitable. People forget to wash their hands. Some feel they can't take time off, when they are clearly infectious. Maybe i picked something up. It's also easy to come against God's authority. When we dont' like what He is leading us to, we just change our direction. WE tell ourselves we don't know His intent. The Lord couldn't possibly want me to stay in this mess and somehow fix it. I dont have the means. My life is too busy. God wouldn't want me to go against my nature. We say that He hasn't made His way evident. Yet, His Word clearly tells us what our path should be. It's easy. Lay down your life for those around you instead of looking for a path of comfort. To be known for our love, we must embrace His truth. So, i am taking time off, to wash my hands knowing that God has provided my complete cleansing. He washes my heart with forgiveness for those who shared more of their 'virus' than intended. I take up my cross- that peice of wood that turns the water sweet and my daily manna --His Word-- to wash my mind and heart. I look upon my twelve springs and seventy palm trees (Ex 15) and give thanks.(that's alot of friends!) I praise God, the One who Heals. And His grace covers me as i prepare to step forward to lead in vunlerablity, and to vulnerability. For in Christ alone we are washed clean. Let's "SING TO THE LORD, FOR HE IS HIGHLY EXALTED!"